Buffalo Winged by Tramps, Dishes Move In for the Kill

Originally published at www.tricityrollergirls.com:

We all know that the Terminator has a chip inside his head which allows him to switch to Learning Mode, understand why people cry and allow Arnie to bust out his serious acting chops. Lesser known is the dial located on every Venus Fly Tramp, which is usually set for “Fun”. Last Saturday the dials were set to “SRS BZNZ” and the Tramps’ TCRG sisters, fans and an unsuspecting crew from Buffalo saw a very different kind of flower power.

The Queen City Roller Girls were in town for a double-header, and the Alley Kats spent the first period of their game bamboozling the Tramps. Evil-Lyn Cognito, Lady Gaia and Celery StalkHer and Team USA alternate Addy Rawl put the Kats into a 50-point lead by halftime, aided by thunderous blocking  from rookie standout KonichiWOW. TKO call-ups Groins and Tiny Dancer had done some serious blocking and jamming work respectively to stem the tide in the absence of regulars Ann Kilbiter and Freudian Whip, but it was clutch performer Konky who laid down the gauntlet with a multi-point powerjam in the final minute of the first half.

Cue the comeback. In the second period a  mighty, hitherto-unknown Green Machine played a stellar game of Derby Survivor: Outhit, Outskate, Outpass. Slowly but surely the Tramps turned their stamina to their advantage and claimed their third victory in a row. A nervous moment occurred when Konky was injured, but the ever-boisterous Leigh-zzie Borden stepped into the gap to finish out the bout. Final score: Tramps 144, Alley Kats 92.

The second bout of the evening featured a clash of blocking corps. Devil Dollies captain Lip Service is not afraid to do her own clearing, something Dishes jammer Guns ‘n Gams learned to her sorrow. The Dishes ran a familiar system of pack control for the bout, which did not preclude individual acts of heroism. Sofanda Beatin was steady on her wheels for the cause, and Suzy Slam celebrated her birthday with a career bout of precision hits. Another jammer injury marred the otherwise fun level of play – we wish Nova Cain a speedy recovery. A special hardcore note for Tuesday Hula of  QCRG, who pulled double duty and skated both bouts in an on-the-edge style that kept her at the forefront of the action and foremost in the minds of the penalty tracker. Final score: Dishes 250, Dollies 57.

If you did not see this cross-border clash, you are on notice! Consider this a subpoena – your presence is required at the Waterloo Memorial Recreation Complex on the 27th of August to see another double-header against Toronto Roller Derby. Same Roller-Time! Same Roller-Channel! More Roller-You! Or Else!

See you in the Suicide Seats,


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