Archive for Forest City Derby Girls

Lucky Beast Number 7

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , on April 23, 2014 by Lightning Slim

This weekend, I travel to Montreal to attend the infamous Beast of the East Derby tournament. I’ve been to 5 of these things already, only missing the first one. It’s a fabulously fun time and a kind of unofficial kickoff to the roller derby season in central Canada.

My good friend (and newly published author)  The Derby Nerd has done some serious heavy lifting on previewing this thing should you wish to know more. Take a look here.

And for his Herculean distillation of the tournament’s entire history, try here.


London Bridge Holds Steady for Lunch Ladies, Falls for Thames Fatales

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , on July 20, 2011 by Lightning Slim

Originally published at

It’s always a party when the Forest City Derby Girls come to town, and this time they did so doubly, with the Lunch Ladies facing off against the TKOs and the Thames Fatales seeking to battle old friends the Venus Fly Tramps Saturday night.

The first bout saw the normally systematic TKOs fall into confusion despite a strong effort. The Lunch Ladies put up several multi-point jams in the early going and commanded the first half. A brief comeback in the second was mounted by jammer Booty Two Shoes and captains Pandemic Pearl and Fox Smoulder, but Tri-City discipline problems allowed the Lunch Ladies to confidently trade point-for-point with a comfortable lead, relying on the speed of their deep jammer pool (Boxkick Betty, Mighty Thor and Elle Boes and Grisly Blaire all put in time) to keep the differential intact. Final Score: 180-114 for FCDG. Desire for rematch according to everyone I spoke with at the bout: 1000000 percent.

Round two featured a Tramp squad hungry for victory and a Fatales line-up in single digits lacking familiar faces Killson, Piepshow and captain Anya Face, whose determined sideline appearance on crutches echoed the no-quit, no-complaint style that has made the Thames a favourite opponent everywhere. Determined though the FCDG A-squad were, the Tramps had been training and waiting for a long time to get back into the limelight and they steamrolled all opponents. Thames, time, and the uncharacteristically full penalty board  were all pushed aside  with concerted team play as the Venus Fly Tramps celebrated their first regulation* victory since October 2009. Tramps 176, Thames 89.

What next, you ask? Why, more fun coming up on Saturday as both home teams visit 2011 Beast Champions Rideau Valley in yet another double-header.  A city known for bureaucrats more than bruising is about to get shaken up by Tramps and Dishes on a rolling road trip. Go with them, I say! You have my endorsement to good-naturedly terrorize the good citizens of Kanata with your indomitable Tri-City pride!

Too far to Ottawa, you say? Then I demand your presence at both doubleheaders in August! Check our events calendar for details on games against both Buffalo and TORD at the wonderful Waterloo Rec Centre right here in the heart of the Tri-Cities.

See you in the Suicide Seats,

Lightning Slim 

*The ladies in green have done well at speedy tournaments like Beast of the East, but Lou El Bammo and Lilith NoFair had been dreaming of  a 60-minute salvo leading up to this weekend.

Slim Pickin’s – Beast of the East 2010 First Impressions

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , on April 26, 2010 by Lightning Slim

Originally posted on  All stats courtesy Derby News Network.

Although my head’s still a bit hazy from a very hectic weekend (11 games called!) I thought I’d share some thoughts on the showing TCRG made at Beast this year.

Round 1 on Saturday saw The Venus Fly Tramps get out pack-controlled by the Death Row Dames from Hammer City, resulting in a 63-6 loss. The Vicious Dishes grabbed a 37-20 victory over Rideau Valley’s Slaughter Daughters.

Round 2 saw the Tramps get organized and gain a fairly tidy win against Rideau Valley’s newer team, the Riot Squad, eliminating them from the tourney with a score of 43-14. The Dishes drew a nasty opponent in Montreal’s Les Filles Du Roi (the eventual Beasts) and an equally nasty result: 115-7.

Round 3 began with a bruised but determined Thames Fatales (fresh from a drubbing by La Racaille) scoring early to put a close 24-15 game just out of the Tramps’ reach. The Dishes put paid to GTAR’s Debutantes 52-14 to ensure their advancement.

Sunday’s Round 4 pitted the Dishes against La Racaille where they could not beat the blinding speed of the Montreal team. The final score was 57-4, but there’s no shame in your losses coming from the 1-2 teams in the tournament!

My thanks to Single Malt Scott and the other Montreal announcers for making me feel so welcome and giving me the opportunity to call for TCRG and many other tremendous roller-athletes. Null ptr ref, Pat Smear Dribblin and an army of referees from all points of the compass (including ours!) put together a clockwork-smooth tournament of surpassing enjoyability.

I’ll post a bit more when I’ve had the chance to see some video. You can watch too on!

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