Archive for Landmine Marathon

Deals & Steals: Viking Swords and Mixing Boards

Posted in Deals & Steals with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2012 by Lightning Slim

lair-of-the-minotaur-album-204pg041310  Hey all, a big backlog of interesting finds from the past couple of months. All prices $US, Shipping about $15  altogether.

3 Inches of Blood – Battlecry Under a Winter Sun $5.59. Old school 3IOB is good times.

Dark Tranquillity – Haven $4.88. I’m trying to like it. Really. The riffs are there, but so is the baritone crooning. At least I didn’t turf it out the window like I did with Projector.

Lair of the Minotaur – Evil Power $4.19. This is currently one of my favourite things; a sludgy, fudgy Melvins-like fuzztone with an Entombed’s worth of aggression. Heavy, heavy shit.

Lonely Island – Turtleneck and Chain $9.99. The perfect thing for chilling and sippin’ on a lite beer.

Landmine Marathon – Sovereign Descent $5.99. Recent changes to the band can’t take away the power of this massive recording.

Imperative Reaction – Minus All $4.49. IR are that rare animal nowadays – traditional electro industrial.

Arch Enemy – Anthems of Rebellion $2.99. Their most ineffectual album to date, but the price was right.

Evanescence – The Open Door $6.99. File under stuff that I know is bad but listen to anyway. So terrible, so in my car all the time. I think it’s because Amy Lee’s voice reminds me of happy times chasing girls in college using Sarah McLachlan as bait.

And lastly, a record that reminds me of a fun concert story:

18368244;encoding=jpg;size=300;fallback=defaultImage  Hanzel und Gretyl – Uber Alles $2.00. I have a soft spot for these Fako-Fascisto Funsters. They played my area with Slick Idiot last year (during Oktoberfest, no less) and blew out the sound system in the club about 20 times in a row. The result was terrible, but I’ll never forget mock-dominatrix Vas Kallas turning to Kaiser von Loopy, completely dropping character, and honking in pure Brooklynese: “This is gonna be one of them nights, eh Rob?”

Thank you, Rob and Betty.

Thank you, Rob and Betty.

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Album Review – Landmine Marathon “Wounded” 2006

Posted in Album Reviews, Sevens to Nines with tags , , , , , , , on December 23, 2010 by Lightning Slim

  Remember Star Trek IV where the giant alien ship comes to Earth and they want to talk to the whales and it’s kind of awkward because we murdered all the whales so the Trek crew has to go back in time to save the whales so the human race doesn’t get nut-punched by angry space whale-ians? Well, the story of Wounded is like that story, with less whale.*
 
In this story, secret metal scientists of today realize that American grindcore music is slick, repetitive and boring due to the lack of guidance from the European masters. All their readings indicate that without Bolt Thrower, all music will be doomed. To fix the problem, they create a beautiful grind-borg using some depleted uranium they have lying around and the DNA of Angela Gossow, Vas Kallas, Mel Mongeon and The Great Kat.
 
The grindbot (codenamed Grace) is sent back in time to 1988, where she travels to England and breaks into the headquarters of Earache Records and copies all the demo tapes. Then she steals several babies from an American orphanage and raises them in a secret desert hideout on a musical diet of nothing but Repulsion, Entombed and Brutal Truth. When they ask for techno, she beats them and plays Meathook Seed.
 
Eighteen years later, Landmine Marathon’s first album, Wounded, is released by this band of time travelers. The world is once again safe for old-school grindcore. The End – Or Is It? 7.5 out of 10
 
*Unless you mean Andy Whale, the drummer of Bolt Thrower.

Deals and Steals: Retro Death Spectacular

Posted in Deals & Steals with tags , , , , , , , on December 21, 2010 by Lightning Slim

  Everything this time out has a connected theme of old-schoolness, as Chaosmas is a time of traditions! All prices $US, no shipping charges.

One Man Army and the Undead Quartet – 21st Century Killing Machine $5.07, Error in Evolution $5.99 and Grim Tales $8.99. Great opportunity to grab the entire back catalogue of this thrashback project from Crown singer Johan Lindstrand.

Finntroll – Jaktens Tid $7.99. What’s the season without elves? And trolls? Serious folk-metal business, Viking-styles.

Landmine Marathon – Wounded and Rusted Eyes Awake $7.99 each. Desert disciples of old-school grindcore. My crew saw these guys open for Skeletonwitch and couldn’t stop talking about them. Reviews will follow!

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