Archive for TKO

It Must Be Spring Again, Bring On the Purple Reign

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , on April 27, 2012 by Lightning Slim

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Buffalo Winged by Tramps, Dishes Move In for the Kill

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , on August 18, 2011 by Lightning Slim

Originally published at www.tricityrollergirls.com:

We all know that the Terminator has a chip inside his head which allows him to switch to Learning Mode, understand why people cry and allow Arnie to bust out his serious acting chops. Lesser known is the dial located on every Venus Fly Tramp, which is usually set for “Fun”. Last Saturday the dials were set to “SRS BZNZ” and the Tramps’ TCRG sisters, fans and an unsuspecting crew from Buffalo saw a very different kind of flower power.

The Queen City Roller Girls were in town for a double-header, and the Alley Kats spent the first period of their game bamboozling the Tramps. Evil-Lyn Cognito, Lady Gaia and Celery StalkHer and Team USA alternate Addy Rawl put the Kats into a 50-point lead by halftime, aided by thunderous blocking  from rookie standout KonichiWOW. TKO call-ups Groins and Tiny Dancer had done some serious blocking and jamming work respectively to stem the tide in the absence of regulars Ann Kilbiter and Freudian Whip, but it was clutch performer Konky who laid down the gauntlet with a multi-point powerjam in the final minute of the first half.

Cue the comeback. In the second period a  mighty, hitherto-unknown Green Machine played a stellar game of Derby Survivor: Outhit, Outskate, Outpass. Slowly but surely the Tramps turned their stamina to their advantage and claimed their third victory in a row. A nervous moment occurred when Konky was injured, but the ever-boisterous Leigh-zzie Borden stepped into the gap to finish out the bout. Final score: Tramps 144, Alley Kats 92.

The second bout of the evening featured a clash of blocking corps. Devil Dollies captain Lip Service is not afraid to do her own clearing, something Dishes jammer Guns ‘n Gams learned to her sorrow. The Dishes ran a familiar system of pack control for the bout, which did not preclude individual acts of heroism. Sofanda Beatin was steady on her wheels for the cause, and Suzy Slam celebrated her birthday with a career bout of precision hits. Another jammer injury marred the otherwise fun level of play – we wish Nova Cain a speedy recovery. A special hardcore note for Tuesday Hula of  QCRG, who pulled double duty and skated both bouts in an on-the-edge style that kept her at the forefront of the action and foremost in the minds of the penalty tracker. Final score: Dishes 250, Dollies 57.

If you did not see this cross-border clash, you are on notice! Consider this a subpoena – your presence is required at the Waterloo Memorial Recreation Complex on the 27th of August to see another double-header against Toronto Roller Derby. Same Roller-Time! Same Roller-Channel! More Roller-You! Or Else!

See you in the Suicide Seats,

Slim

London Bridge Holds Steady for Lunch Ladies, Falls for Thames Fatales

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , on July 20, 2011 by Lightning Slim

Originally published at www.tricityrollergirls.com:

It’s always a party when the Forest City Derby Girls come to town, and this time they did so doubly, with the Lunch Ladies facing off against the TKOs and the Thames Fatales seeking to battle old friends the Venus Fly Tramps Saturday night.

The first bout saw the normally systematic TKOs fall into confusion despite a strong effort. The Lunch Ladies put up several multi-point jams in the early going and commanded the first half. A brief comeback in the second was mounted by jammer Booty Two Shoes and captains Pandemic Pearl and Fox Smoulder, but Tri-City discipline problems allowed the Lunch Ladies to confidently trade point-for-point with a comfortable lead, relying on the speed of their deep jammer pool (Boxkick Betty, Mighty Thor and Elle Boes and Grisly Blaire all put in time) to keep the differential intact. Final Score: 180-114 for FCDG. Desire for rematch according to everyone I spoke with at the bout: 1000000 percent.

Round two featured a Tramp squad hungry for victory and a Fatales line-up in single digits lacking familiar faces Killson, Piepshow and captain Anya Face, whose determined sideline appearance on crutches echoed the no-quit, no-complaint style that has made the Thames a favourite opponent everywhere. Determined though the FCDG A-squad were, the Tramps had been training and waiting for a long time to get back into the limelight and they steamrolled all opponents. Thames, time, and the uncharacteristically full penalty board  were all pushed aside  with concerted team play as the Venus Fly Tramps celebrated their first regulation* victory since October 2009. Tramps 176, Thames 89.

What next, you ask? Why, more fun coming up on Saturday as both home teams visit 2011 Beast Champions Rideau Valley in yet another double-header.  A city known for bureaucrats more than bruising is about to get shaken up by Tramps and Dishes on a rolling road trip. Go with them, I say! You have my endorsement to good-naturedly terrorize the good citizens of Kanata with your indomitable Tri-City pride!

Too far to Ottawa, you say? Then I demand your presence at both doubleheaders in August! Check our events calendar for details on games against both Buffalo and TORD at the wonderful Waterloo Rec Centre right here in the heart of the Tri-Cities.

See you in the Suicide Seats,

Lightning Slim 

*The ladies in green have done well at speedy tournaments like Beast of the East, but Lou El Bammo and Lilith NoFair had been dreaming of  a 60-minute salvo leading up to this weekend.

Catching Up: Summer Derby Love

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2011 by Lightning Slim

Originally published at www.tricityrollergirls.com:

June’s not even half over and there’s already a heap of derby under our belts, and more to come! Let’s dive into the June 4th Double-Header:

Things began with a disciplined first half from the TKOs as they put their system to work against the Killer Queens of Royal City. Hampered by some injuries, the Queens had brought some borrowed players from RCRG’s other teams, including blocker Ginger Slaughters and seemingly tireless jammer Hot CrossGuns. This melding of inter-squad talent gave a tantalizing glimpse of the possibilities for Royal City’s all-star team in future contests, and also pressed the TKO jammer contingent to thread the needle in some dangerous situations. Expected point netting from Pandemic Pearl and Rain Blows Brite was well-complimented by some stealthy work by Das Booty.

Photo by Adam Gagnon

The second half of the contest was a night-and-day change from the first, as both teams abandoned systemic play and engaged in an often lawless scramble. Killer Queen Archbitch of Slamterbury grabbed some spotlight time as she put in serious work with star, stripe and bare-helmed. With the penalty pagoda perpetually populated, it was veteran Anaslaysia Killsemov holding down the inside line and paving the way to a TKO victory. Final score: 132-84.

The second game of the evening saw a visit by our neighbors to the south, as the Grade A Fancies of Green Mountain made the trek from Vermont to Oktoberland for WFTDA-sanctioned action. Almost in imitation of the earlier bout, the first half displayed home team Thunder’s better qualities and the second was a street fight. Standouts for Thunder included usual-suspect jammer core Motorhead Molly, Skate Pastor and Lippy Wrongstockings and some nice work from newer sharks Leigh-zzie Borden and Freudian Whip, with the latter sidelined by injury late in the bout. Ice, rest and positive thoughts, Whipper!

In the end, despite amazing desire and some superhuman resistance to steady Thunder hitting (Scarlet Menace and Vagichael Jackson, both diminutive,  took gigantic hits and continued to skate) Green Mountan was overcome by their short bench. Final score: 213-38. Long-distance travel can be deadly; something Thunder experienced themselves as their fatigued and smaller cross-border squad lost to Ohio 131-76. Remember, these ladies do it for the sheer joy of derby, and we’re a ways off from the charter-jet era! 

See you in the Suicide Seats,
Slim

Double Header Opens Up June Derby Extravaganza

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2011 by Lightning Slim

June 4th at the Wilmot Rec Complex TCRG hosts a multi-league, multi-national blast of roller derby that promises serious action for all derby fans. At 6pm the TKOs welcome the Killer Queens of the Royal City Roller Girls. After shutting RCRG out of their own Purple Reign tournament earlier in the season, the Knock-Outs faced a focused squad last weekend in Guelph but still pulled out a victory over Our Ladies of Pain. What will the next chapter be in the Tri-City/Royal City rivalry?

Game 2 features TCRG’s official touring team, the Tri-City Thunder. After a 2011 Mid-West Brewhaha tournament with a decisive win against Paper Valley and a spirited defense against the Detroit juggernaut, Thunder faces the Green Mountain Derby Dames of Vermont, a team you might recognize from the 2010 Beast of the East.  See Thunder on home turf before they go on the road! June also brings bouts in Ohio and Hudson Valley before the challenge of the East Coast Derby Extravaganza.

Derby local and derby global – what’s not to like? I expect serious noise and some creative sign action in the crowd as TCRG take on all comers from down the road and over the border!

-Lightning Slim

Five Reasons to Support the Tri-City/Royal City Rivalry

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , on May 18, 2011 by Lightning Slim

Orignally published at www.tricityrollergirls.com:

As previously mentioned in this space, Thunder is now in full swing across the North Central Region playing in WFTDA sanctioned bouts and tournaments in a push to make their mark. But there’s plenty of derby to be had back home, much of it featuring the rivalry between the Total Knock Outs and the three teams of Royal City. These ladies are getting to know each other well this season, and here’s why you should get involved:

1. It’s close. No serious 401-style driving involved in the Highway 7 Series. You can stop by the after-party and still go home for SNL, if that’s your thing . That leads me to my next point:

2. Fan Invasion Potential. Visiting teams can bring a full-strength cheer squad. Packs the house, makes lots of noise – good for everyone!

3. Non-Sectarianism. Sure, the rivalries of any sport can be passionate and raw, but the community-based, DIY, family-positive nature of the modern roller derby phenomenon mean that you can attend these games looking forward to a good time without fearing for your kids’ ears or having to duck a flying pint glass.

4. Developing Relationships. As the two leagues play each other, familiarity will engender competition. They will push each other to greater levels of skill and teamwork, and we’ll be able to watch the games as they get closer and more exciting each time. Which reminds me…

5. Early Adoption.The TKO’s and RCRG are relatively new to the game, but their potential is limitless. Could you be seeing one or more women who might hold aloft the 2016 Hydra? Choose your favourites, exercise your lungs and help them get there, for the privilege of saying you saw them back in the day.

6. I’m almost always there. What, you come for the skaters and not me?

See you in the Suicide Seats,

Slim

Big Derby Weekend Ahead

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , , on April 8, 2011 by Lightning Slim

Originally published at www.tricityrollergirls.com:

Hey all,

As previously discussed, the TCRG season kicks off on Saturday with the now-classic matchup of Dishes and Tramps. If that’s not enough derby action for you (is it ever?), the league’s Highway 7 sisters the Royal City Rollergirls are introducing their new home teams to Wellington County on Sunday.

“Purple Reign” will feature exhibition games from the Violet Uprising, Killer Queens and Our Ladies of Pain at the Centre Wellington Sportsplex in Fergus. Tri-City fans looking for a competitive angle will be pleased to note that our own Total Knockouts will be included, looking to play the role of spoilers.  The TKO’s drafted deeply over the winter, so there will be debuts all around.

Yours truly may also spend a moment on the mic – remember to bring your non-perishable food items to support the Centre Wellington Food Bank, and get your backsides to trackside!

Deets here: www.royalcityrollergirls.com

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