Archive for Toronto Roller Derby

Lucky Beast Number 7

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , on April 23, 2014 by Lightning Slim

This weekend, I travel to Montreal to attend the infamous Beast of the East Derby tournament. I’ve been to 5 of these things already, only missing the first one. It’s a fabulously fun time and a kind of unofficial kickoff to the roller derby season in central Canada.

My good friend (and newly published author)  The Derby Nerd has done some serious heavy lifting on previewing this thing should you wish to know more. Take a look here.

And for his Herculean distillation of the tournament’s entire history, try here.


Spurred to Action, Roller Derby Rides to Rescue

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , , on July 10, 2012 by Lightning Slim

There’s nothing exciting I can tell you that isn’t eclipsed by the majesty of  Adam Swinbourne’s poster for this weekend’s bout:


He’s a real talent. To think, all those fantastic rollergirls to draw and he almost scotches the whole thing by putting my mug on it! Deets for the bout here:

See your backsides at trackside! Also, forgive me if I look a little ragged on the day; there’s a little something I’m up to the night before.

Return to the City of Beer

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , on May 31, 2012 by Lightning Slim

Here I go again – I’ll be following the Tri-City Thunder to Milwaukee for the Brew City Brewhaha. It’s a long drive, but a fun tournament, and I like the local delicacies*


*By which I mean beer. And cheese. They put cheese on everything.

Quad City Chaos 2012

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , on March 26, 2012 by Lightning Slim

Fantastic poster art courtesy Adam Swinbourne

Lowdown on this cool tournament by the Derby Nerd is here.

Autumn Inauguration, Chance of Domination

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , on September 20, 2011 by Lightning Slim

Originally published at

What’s that? Can’t get enough derby? We know the feeling. While we’re sure you will all have one eye glued to the unfolding events down at the WFTDA playoffs, don’t forget there’s live double-header action still happening here at home.

On Saturday the 24th TCRG hosts skaters from both Montreal and Toronto, two leagues who have faced Tri-City before, and know that you don’t have to be from the big smoke to burn up the track. Toronto Roller Derby’s Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, smarting from a recent drubbing at the skates of Royal City, will be looking to focus their anger on the Total Knock-Outs. It’s Red Vs. Blue, and someone’s getting fragged!

In the second bout the Vicious Dishes look to close out their season with a win over Les Contrabanditas. These teams have built up enough heat between them to pull the autumn chill right out of the air.

Get your backsides to trackside out in sunny New Hamburg, and watch the falling  leaves turn the colour of bruise!

Augustravaganza Ends in Victory and a Promise of Clashes to Come

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , on September 5, 2011 by Lightning Slim

Photo by Sean Murphy

Originally Published at

By now I hope you’ve read the gracious and thorough recap of last weekend’s double-header by Mr. Whistler, which touches on some of the highlights of two bouts that saw both the Dishes and Tramps come away with decisive victories. Of course the plot now thickens with each of these contests thanks to TORD‘s involvement with WFTDA: more than being isolated one-off bouts, the Tri-City/TORD rivalry now contains the delicious element of cross-linkage with sanctioned bouts between the two leagues.

The friends and rivals made on the track in bouts like last weekend’s will weave themselves into a story of fan anticipation for the time these skaters meet again on the larger stage. That, ladies and gentlemen, is water-cooler talk, it’s specuation about line-ups and strategies and it’s exactly what I want from my sports. Tell your friends who remain unconvinced about this fishnet-legged monster that it’s not only local, home-made, cheeky and powerful, it also contains all the traditional elements you bracket chasers, stat-hounds, followers of character players, rules-lawyers, talent scouts and lovers of true grit truly crave. Is it fun? Hell yes, but there are marbles to be played for and your Canadian rollergirls are in for keepsies.

What’s next for TCRG? September 24 the fun-loving but ever-dangerous ladies of Montreal Roller Derby dispatch the Contrabanditas to engage the Vicious Dishes in a rematch of their close Beast of the East tussle. The Ditas took the brief  tournament bout 27-21, but the Dishes no doubt have a full-hour attack plan in store. The opener of the double-header has upstage potential: the TKO’s face Toronto’s D-VAS. Both rookie squads have had successful seasons and this crossing of skates could produce some unrestrained action as the Tri-City and TORD of tomorrow tap in.

Stay tuned to this space for more details on upcoming events!

See you in the Suicide Seats,


Derby Nerd Predicts Battle Royale in Weekend Showdown

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , on October 13, 2010 by Lightning Slim

Hey all, be sure to head on over to the Derby Nerd’s blog and check out his breakdown of the coming confrontation between the Tri-City Thunder and CN Power from TORD. It’s all right here:

He is a thorough, thorough man. Here’s what he’s talking about:

I can barely wait to call this one!

Slim Pickin’s – Psychedelic Wrap-Up

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , on May 11, 2010 by Lightning Slim

Originally published at

Hey all,

First off, big ups to all the fans in attendance and the sponsors and vounteers who made the Melt Down such a big success. Thanks to the Beaudelaires – I can’t think of any better soundtrack to a Tramp warm-up than something with a reggae bounce.

Wha Happen? – The first game began as a tight race between the Dishes and Chicks Ahoy, but the Dishes pulled away with a big lead after the Chicks landed in penalty trouble in the second half. The Dishes received tremdous performances from their next-gen jammers Stobbelicious and Skate Pastor. This took some of the heavy lifting away from Lippy Wrongstockings and Motorhead Molly, allowing them to save their energies for precision strikes on the afforementioned Chick penalties. The last few jams showed the Dishes experimenting with a comfortable lead, giving their rookies more track time and letting Stobbelicious display some defensive jamming skills. Final score: 121-63 for the Dishes.

The second game of the double-header found the Tramps missing the presence of injured Gunmoll Mindy as savvy play by the Death Track Dolls often stymied their rookie defenders. Slam Wow and Demolition Dawn seemed tireless for the Dolls, although a clever counter-attack using Konky as surprise jammer in the second half (she’d been quietly but effectively blocking in the first) almost turned the tide of a very close game. Leigh-zzie Borden continues to develop into a real threat to both opposing body and scoreboard. Final score: 101-89 for the Dolls, contested right to the end.

Dance Partners – Chicks Ahoy’s Dyna Hurtcha was in a mood to engage any passing body, although she seemed to have something extra going with Dish defensive tandem Greta Garbage and Stacie Jones. Tramp pivot Freudian Whip held her own putting in some serious minutes against Betty Bomber in a variety of situations.

See Y’all next time! –Slim

Gettin’ Psychedelic

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , on May 4, 2010 by Lightning Slim

Originally published at

Saturday marks TCRG’s first Double Header! It’s TCRG vs. TORD in a tie-me-up, tie-dye-me-down extra value extravaganza.

The Dishes will be playing Toronto Roller Derby’s Chicks Ahoy and the Tramps take on the Death Track Dolls. All four teams were recently at the Beast of the East tournament and saw first-hand what an inhuman wrecking ball those ladies from Montreal can be as MTLRD went 1-2-3 after 2 days and 28 games. TORD can take some pride in the 4th place finish by their own Gore-Gores.

I think it’s going to be a treat for Tri-City fans as all your favourite rollergirls get to show off their battle scars and the new moves they picked up at the Beast.

The Venue this time: ACTIVA SPORTSPLEX, 135 Lennox Lewis Lane, KITCHENER
Doors at 5, first whistle at 6pm. Trippy colours and clever signs encouraged!

See you in the Suicide Seats,


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