Archive for Beast of the East

Double Header Opens Up June Derby Extravaganza

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2011 by Lightning Slim

June 4th at the Wilmot Rec Complex TCRG hosts a multi-league, multi-national blast of roller derby that promises serious action for all derby fans. At 6pm the TKOs welcome the Killer Queens of the Royal City Roller Girls. After shutting RCRG out of their own Purple Reign tournament earlier in the season, the Knock-Outs faced a focused squad last weekend in Guelph but still pulled out a victory over Our Ladies of Pain. What will the next chapter be in the Tri-City/Royal City rivalry?

Game 2 features TCRG’s official touring team, the Tri-City Thunder. After a 2011 Mid-West Brewhaha tournament with a decisive win against Paper Valley and a spirited defense against the Detroit juggernaut, Thunder faces the Green Mountain Derby Dames of Vermont, a team you might recognize from the 2010 Beast of the East.  See Thunder on home turf before they go on the road! June also brings bouts in Ohio and Hudson Valley before the challenge of the East Coast Derby Extravaganza.

Derby local and derby global – what’s not to like? I expect serious noise and some creative sign action in the crowd as TCRG take on all comers from down the road and over the border!

-Lightning Slim

TCRG Full Participants in Beast of the East IV

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , , on February 19, 2011 by Lightning Slim

Originally Published at

Polish off your Grade 10 French and begin PBR training now, as all three TCRG home teams have secured spots in Montreal Roller Derby’s Beast of the East tournament for 2011.

This will be the fourth incarnation of the spring tourney, which features teams from Eastern Canada and the occasional guest from the Northern US. Past years have seen the Vicious Dishes and Venus Fly Tramps push themselves to the limit and beyond, and also take some lumps from their formidable MTLRD hosts. 2011 promises some excellent derby as the state of the sport and its skill level continue to climb across Canada, with TCRG bringing along some swagger attached to their new WFTDA membership as well as numerical support in their newly-minted Total Knock-Outs squad.

Two solid days of derby, and the lure of Montreal in the springtime. What’s not to like? I know TCRG would like to see some familiar faces in the crowd, so check out the details below and get your backsides to trackside:

–Lightning Slim

Slim Pickin’s – Beast of the East 2010 First Impressions

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , , , , , on April 26, 2010 by Lightning Slim

Originally posted on  All stats courtesy Derby News Network.

Although my head’s still a bit hazy from a very hectic weekend (11 games called!) I thought I’d share some thoughts on the showing TCRG made at Beast this year.

Round 1 on Saturday saw The Venus Fly Tramps get out pack-controlled by the Death Row Dames from Hammer City, resulting in a 63-6 loss. The Vicious Dishes grabbed a 37-20 victory over Rideau Valley’s Slaughter Daughters.

Round 2 saw the Tramps get organized and gain a fairly tidy win against Rideau Valley’s newer team, the Riot Squad, eliminating them from the tourney with a score of 43-14. The Dishes drew a nasty opponent in Montreal’s Les Filles Du Roi (the eventual Beasts) and an equally nasty result: 115-7.

Round 3 began with a bruised but determined Thames Fatales (fresh from a drubbing by La Racaille) scoring early to put a close 24-15 game just out of the Tramps’ reach. The Dishes put paid to GTAR’s Debutantes 52-14 to ensure their advancement.

Sunday’s Round 4 pitted the Dishes against La Racaille where they could not beat the blinding speed of the Montreal team. The final score was 57-4, but there’s no shame in your losses coming from the 1-2 teams in the tournament!

My thanks to Single Malt Scott and the other Montreal announcers for making me feel so welcome and giving me the opportunity to call for TCRG and many other tremendous roller-athletes. Null ptr ref, Pat Smear Dribblin and an army of referees from all points of the compass (including ours!) put together a clockwork-smooth tournament of surpassing enjoyability.

I’ll post a bit more when I’ve had the chance to see some video. You can watch too on!

Slim Pickin’s – Family Feud

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , , on April 12, 2010 by Lightning Slim

Family Feud 2010

Originally published at

A tremendous effort from both teams resulting in a 157-53 victory for the Dishes. Thanks to the 800+ of you fans who helped to make the night noisy and memorable!

Some thoughts on the game: The Dishes debuted some promising new jamming talent in Stobbelicious and Skate Pastor, but it was their experienced cohort Motorhead Molly who put on a clinic with consistently dominant play and, yes, a 20-point jam.

A Tramps team much changed in the off-season made their best effort to become a physical force in the bout. Unfortunately this sometimes put them into penalty territory and at a numerical disadvantage. There was an interesting glimpse of the possible Tramps-to-be in the final five minutes where, with nothing but pride to play for, they put together a smart and solid hitting game.

Dance Partners: BareLeigh Legal and Konky. Number 18 in black did her level best all night to disrupt the smooth skating groove of the Tramps’ 2000. They’re probably still scrubbing off each others’ shoulder numbers.

That’s all for now – I’m looking forward to bringing you some action reports from Beast of the East, and don’t forget our next home game May 8. Bring all your friends, bring your boss, bring your Grandma – I bet she can holler louder than you! *

-Lightning Slim

*She will, when she sees the fearless ladies of derby.

2010 Roller Derby Season Preview

Posted in Roller Derby with tags , , on April 4, 2010 by Lightning Slim

  My introduction to roller derby happened the same way it does to many guys – Mrs. Slim is a derby girl, and if I ever wanted to see her I’d better get involved. Luckily, I came, I saw and I was hooked. Now I’m the bout announcer for the Tri-City Roller Girls (link is on the margin) and I love what I do. April 10 marks the opening bout of the season for TCRG, a love/hate sibling rivalry for the league’s two house teams, the Venus Fly Tramps and the Vicious Dishes. Both teams are looking to shake off the rust before the Beast of the East tournament in Montreal on April 24/25 where the Tramps face the Hammer City Death Row Dames and the Dishes go up against Rideau Valley  ‘s Slaughter Daughters in the preliminary round. Although the depth of field and their relative newness on the scene might preclude it, clever play (and a soupçon of luck) could carry the two teams to square off for the championship. Hey, dream big!

After that, both house teams and the travel team (the Tri-City Thunder) will play other leagues from near and far. It’s my intention to provide a bit of pre-game hype and post-game analysis in this blog. As always, feel free to add your comments and queries to any of my stuff.

If you’ve never seen roller derby before, you owe it to yourself to give it a try.  It’s a fast, hard-hitting sport that also manages to be cheeky, counter-culture, yet family oriented. Support your local derby girl and get your backside to trackside!

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